We Found An Apartment

Okay, so it is neither of the apartments that I had posted about before.  It is located on Hinsdale Street right near Cobbs Hill Park, and just a few blocks from Upper Monroe.  Here are some pictures:

The front of the house (we are the second floor apartment).  There is a secondary entrance from the driveway on the side of the house that enters into the kitchen.

The kitchen:

The dining room (with lots of windows) and the living room (with a decorative fireplace):

The enclosed sun room, taken from the dining room looking through the living room, and then from the living room:

There is also a bathroom and three bedrooms, and a basement with a washer and dryer.  It has all hardwood floors and off-street parking in the driveway (they do snow removal).  The rent is $725/month.

One major thing off the list, thanks to Kelly’s decisiveness.

We also got our car back today, $1,507.40 later.  At least it runs!  Kelly did the amazing job of actually going to the mechanic and making them explain everything in detail to his satisfaction.  And we got a one-year warranty on all the parts they replaced, which ended up being a huge part of the engine.  So actually, that’s two things off the list.  Yay Kelly!

I went to the doctor yesterday to check out this crotch rash that hadn’t been going away.  I’d been treating it with antifungal powder my midwife prescribed, since I have had itchiness there due to fungus before.  It turns out that this is a bacterial infection called folliculitis (because the hair follicles get infected) and now I am treating it with an antibiotic cream.  I hope it goes away soon.

I have a midwife appointment tonight.

Ultrasound results

I got my final ultrasound today to make sure the baby isn’t too small.  Well, apparently the baby’s weight is currently in the 68th percentile and the baby weighs about 7 pounds, 4 ounces.  Not to worry – it’s gonna be a big baby!

This means that of the 23 pounds I have gained during pregnancy, over 7 are baby.  That’s 30% of my total gain!

Couple of appointments

This week has been very busy.  Tuesday night Kelly and I went to the Birth Center orientation for people who know they plan to give birth at the birth center.  It was poorly organized and the packet of information they gave out was missing a number of pages.  Whoops.  We got to tour the full birth center (last time we only got to see 1 of the 3 birth suites since a woman was using one of the others) and to tour the hospital’s maternity ward, which made me feel much better about the possibility of transfer.  The labor & delivery rooms were very swank – much nicer than some hotels we have stayed in.  Plus, the view over Cambridge and Boston was magnificent!  We were there just as the sun was setting and the moon was rising over the skyline.  Beautiful.

Yesterday I interviewed a pediatrician.  Very, very nice guy.  Dr. Osler at Somerville Pediatrics is very nice and supportive, although of course we will only be seeing him for 2 weeks.  At least we have someone lined up to do the 24 hour baby checkup.

Then, last night we went to my weekly midwife appointment.  I will have an appointment every Wednesday between now and when I give birth.  Lots of good news: I am cleared to give birth at the birth center pending one last ultrasound tomorrow to make sure the baby is growing normally.  I weight 140 pounds, which means I have gained 23 pounds since I got pregnant – a decent number.  I am no longer anemic, I don’t have group B strep, and (surprise) I don’t have syphilis!  Even my fundal height is catching up – I am only 3 cm small now, as opposed to 4 cm last time.

I have a dentist appointment today which I am completely psyched about since my gums are totally rotting.  Stupid pregnancy gingivitis.  And I am so obsessive about the dental hygiene!  I don’t deserve to be punished like this.

I contacted the other mohel to get his information.  Now we have a list of numbers to call just in case.  We had talked about renting space in the Temple for the brit milah, but then Kelly called and found out it costs like $325.  So much for that.

Tonight we are going to Molly’s baby shower.  Much fun will be had by all.

Oh, also the car is dying.  We took it in today and the mechanic was like, your car has major issues.  I’m like, I KNOW – this is the third time I have brought it in for the same problem, so why didn’t you find these issues before?  I am going to ask for a discount if they tell me that these issues existed less than a month ago (June 24) when I brought it in.  All they found then was a baffle loose in the muffler, and the mechanic said it was not something I needed to worry about fixing.  Now they are like, OH F@*# YOUR CAR IS DYING.

Kelly’s going to a New Dad class this weekend which will teach him how to change diapers, bathe the baby, etc.  Cool beans.  He’s also preaching on Sunday.  Oh, also his name change came through and he has already submitted the papers to get a new Social Security card assigned, which should arrive in the mail in a week and a half.  Then he can get a new license.  Then he will be so legit!

Also, my boss said that I could leave work a few hours early every day, in the hopes that that will allow me to work longer.  Which is good, cuz I need more time to space out, sleep, and relax.

Bumping my ribs

Well, the baby is kicking around in there, trying to expand the dwelling space. I can feel lots of “small parts” on my right side, alternately poking me in the ribs and the vagina. Yay!

My appointment with Tiffany went well last night. I peed in a cup, swabbed my perineum for group b strep, and had 2 vials of blood drawn (to test for anemia and syphilis), got weighed (137 lbs), had my belly measured (31 cm), and had my blood pressure taken (very low as always). I also signed the form that says I understand and agree to the constraints of giving birth at the Cambridge Birth Center and got to ask a few questions about breaking the waters, which they do there at 8 cm dilation. I also got two prescriptions – one for acyclovir to prevent herpes outbreaks. If you have a herpes outbreak when you go into labor, it’s an automatic C-section. Better safe than sorry. The other is for a topical anti-fungal powder. I got a heat rash a while ago that isn’t going away, so I suspect fungus – something like this has happened once before.

Kelly gave notice today, which is exciting. He gave the date of Friday, August 1st, which is also the date I have told my office will probably be my last day (my due date is the following Tuesday). If nothing is happening on the labor front and our apartment is all ready for the baby (somewhat unlikely), then we may choose to work longer if it is convenient for our offices.

I got caught in this amazing thunderstorm yesterday. I parked the car just as it started and was fishing around in my purse in the Whole Foods parking lot when gravel-sized chunks of hail started hitting the car with violent, sideways-blowing winds, lighting and thunder, and so much rain that the air misted. I was stuck in the car for 20 minutes waiting for it to let up enough so I could go into the store. It was a bit scary, but not as bad as last week when I was outside and lightning crashed down right on top of me out of nowhere. I screamed, jumped, and uselessly covered my head with my hands, of course. Today it is 90 degrees and more thunderstorms are predicted. It feels so hot and humid out. I am drinking a lot of water, but maybe if it’s so hot in our apartment tonight, we’ll turn the A/C on in the bedroom to try and cool it and then go see Hulk. The weather is supposed to break tomorrow and be in the 70s. That would be nice.

I got an appointment with a pediatrician recommended by the birth center for 2 weeks from now.  We need him to see the baby 24 hours after birth, but the receptionist I spoke to did not know if he would be able to do that if I gave birth on a Friday or Saturday.  She said I could ask him when I met with him.  Grrrreat.  If not, we’ll have to scramble to find a pediatrician.  I also called 2 mohels recommended to me by Rabbi Andy Vogel.  One has his own website: Cantor Sam Pessaroff.  I spoke to his wife, who said just give him a call after I have the baby.  The other is a urologist who is out of town until next week.  Finally, I called the insurance company to make sure that they cover births billed through the Cambridge Health Alliance, which is how the birth center bills.  Yes, they do.  I have to figure out the paperwork to add the baby to my insurance after birth, but I did find out that the baby is covered under my insurance for 36 hours.

I slept! Reviewing the budget!

I actually slept all the way through the night last night (by which I mean, I fell back asleep quickly each time after getting up to pee twice).  The alarm woke me up at 7:15 and I am sooo happy that Friday is a holiday.  Tonight I have a midwife appointment.  At this appointment they are going to draw my blood and do the swab for group B strep, a type of bacterial infection that can be passed to the baby during delivery.

We went grocery shopping last night since it was the new month so our budget finally kicked over.  This system is really working for us.  In the last 3 months (April, May and June) we brought in $12,886, spent $7,669, and put $5,005 into savings.  Pats on the back all around!  What’s really made the difference is using the 3-basket “envelope” system – setting aside savings and monthly fixed expenses and then having the remaining amount of money to spend on food and any other expenses we choose – and not a penny more.  Of course, we usually end up within about $20 of the number either direction, which is fine.  We’ve also created a buffer for ourselves by saving in a separate account for large, one-time expenses like travel, car maintenance, and our tax bill.  I would say that our three-month review of this system finds it a big success.

We’ve got to get our butts in gear on finding infant CPR classes, a pediatrician, a mohel, and a pediatrician in Rochester who takes the insurance Kelly will have through his new job.  Now that it’s a new month, I also want to buy The New Jewish Baby Book, a birth ball, and a few other things.  And I can’t wait to spend our Target/Babies’R'Us credit on the infant car seat and all the itty-bitty baby grooming things like tiny nail clippers.  And we totally need a “Baby on Board” sign!  We’re going to be those people!

Midwife appointment, Heat, Ultrasound

Last Wednesday (June 4) I had an appointment with Tiffany, my midwife.  The appointment went well.  I had a few questions for her, which were answered to my satisfaction.  How can you tell what position the baby is in?  (It’s too early to tell – the baby is still moving around a lot at this point.)  Will my anemia affect my ability to give birth in the birth center?  (Probably not – only very severe cases of anemia are transferred to the hospital.  Even though I am taking Floradix twice daily, I will probably get a bit more anemic as the pregnancy goes on because my blood volume will continue to expand and red blood cells take months to manufacture.  However, this should not be a problem.)  Tiffany filled out the forms for my FMLA maternity leave from Tufts, and I filled out a form to get my medical records released so I could take a copy of them with me to Seattle just in case.

As usual, I peed in a cup and got weighed and had my fundal height measured.  My fundal height was less than would be expected for my gestational age, so Tiffany ordered an ultrasound for me to make sure that the baby was developing normally.  Because babies vary so much in size, only babies who measure below the 10th percentile or above the 90th percentile in size are considered abnormal.  I was worried all week about it.  What if my baby wasn’t growing right?  There could be many possible reasons for this, including malfunctioning placenta and malnutrition.  All “mal” – bad!  On the other hand, the constant movement in my belly was very reassuring and the baby certainly feels big!

I had the ultrasound yesterday, and all is well.  I could not be more “normal” – my baby is in the 49th percentile in terms of size.  Exactly in the middle of the curve.  The ultrasound machine estimated his or her current height at just over 18 cm and current weight at over 4 and a half pounds.  Very reassuring!!  The only lame part about this ultrasound was getting jabbed really hard by the tech, who wanted to get a good shot of the skull circumference.  The baby (once again) was in a not-ideal position, with its head tucked down under my public bone.  It felt like the tech was trying to pry my pubic bone up with the wand.  Fun.  And for the rest of the day, the baby was grumpy, full of activity and wiggling.  I am sure it got a headache from all the pressure!

The other big pregnancy happening was the horrible heat this week.  The heat index got up to 105 degrees with the humidity on Tuesday, and the heat and humidity combined have been brutal.  Not only am I not sleeping well, but my feet have been swelling.  The weather is back down to 80 today though, which means my swelling is gone.  We have window unit A/Cs in our apartment, but they only cool the temperature to about 15 degrees below outside, so if it’s 100 outside it is still 85 in the apartment and too hot to sleep.  I am hoping that this whole summer will not be like that.  The trip to Seattle tomorrow sounds great, and I am really looking forward to the shower.

I keep logging on to TheThingsIWant.com to add more items to my list, but it is very overwhelming.  I think I need to actually go to some stores to see what they have.  It’s hard to tell, for instance, which stroller handle will be more comfortable in terms of angle, grip, and height without actually holding them.  Similarly, which crib is sturdiest and is the right height to bend over the rails.  I am going to try to add a few more things today, though.  Consumer Reports recommends the Chicco Key Fit as the best infant car seat, and that seems like the kind of thing you don’t want to skimp on.

Alex just emailed the baby shower menu, which sounds yummy enough that I am going to post it here.

Edamame dip with rice crackers, jicama, raw vegetables, etc.

Mango salsa wontons

Tofu and walnut stuffed mushrooms

Mini pizzas

Fruit cornucopia

Cupcakes, various sweets from Flying Apron vegan bakery

I am so excited to see my family and friends!!  And just for your information, I do like it when people put a hand on or rub my tummy.  I think people hesitate to do that, and I would be totally weirded out if a stranger did it, but I love it when my friends or family get to feel King Kong monkey around in there.  I recently discovered that my little munchkin (Mischieverina is our current nickname) loves to be rubbed as well.  If I rub or put hands on my sides, she or he moves so that she can get the attention, which is pretty uncomfortable for me!  If I just rub or put hands on the middle part of my belly and rub up and down rather than side to side, he will move into a much more comfortable vertical position.  Now I only rub in the middle up and down, and I think we’re both happier.  This kid is going to love getting massages!

New books I think I need: books on breastfeeding, infant massage, the first year of life, and infant health and care.  We’re going to take an infant CPR class, but I’m not sure I also need the breastfeeding class or the newborn essentials class.  Each class costs money!  I’ve looked into Rochester mommies groups, and there are a lot of them.  I am planning on hooking up with at least one group to make some friends when we move there.

I can’t wait to be in Sea-town!  Got to go buy those maternity compression hose for the plane today.

May Midwife Appointment

Kelly and I went to see Tiffany (my midwife) on Wednesday, and had a good appointment.  I brought a copy of the birth plan that I wrote up, and she looked it over and then added it to my medical files.  I had to take the routine gestational diabetes test, which involves drinking this horrible sugary drink and then having your blood drawn an hour later.  The results were back yesterday morning – I do not have diabetes, but I am anemic.  I have been sporadically taking an iron supplement, but now I will get more serious about it.

Kelly did laundry last night, so first the first time since we bought it last weekend I could use my body pillow (we had to wash the pillowcase).  It was great!  I slept much better than the previous couple of nights.  However, the pillow we got was cheap ($9 at Target) and I can tell that with a few months of use it will get flatter where I wrap my legs around it.  My plan is to fluff it every day and hope that it survives until August, when I will finally be able to sleep on my back again (after giving birth).

Here is the best news: I have gained 16 pounds so far!  Since I was of an average weight prior to pregnancy, I should gain somewhere in the range of 25-35 pounds.  I’ve never been a real gainer and a vegan diet is not that calorically dense, so I was a bit worried about putting on the pounds.  No need to fear, apparently.  My weight gain curve is very encouraging.

Lots of strong moving and kicking from the belly.

Allergy season has begun in force.  I had an allergy attack that was so bad yesterday that I got a nosebleed after sneezing uncontrollably.  Kelly ran out last night to get me the antihistamine recommended by the ACAAI and the AAFP, chlorpheniramine (Chlor-Trimeton).  Taking this before bed is the other reason that I slept so well.  Like Benadryl, it has a sedative effect.  I could take Zyrtec or Claratin, which are both Category B, but obviously they are new enough to the market that effects on fetal health are unknown (there is no controlled human pregnancy drug testing for obvious reasons).  I unfortunately cannot take Patanol eye drops, which I am usually all about (they are Category C), so I will have to clean my eyes with baby shampoo and use hot compresses liberally until the season ends.

I bellydanced again last night.

Intensity alternating with taking it easy

Last night was the last Hypnobirthing class.  What I enjoyed most about the class as a whole was getting to see other first-time parents and to hear their concerns and plans.  Most people in the class are either moving or doing major home renovations around the time of the birth, which is a big source of stress.  I also get to hear tips like, “take a breastfeeding course” or “the ERGOBaby carrier is better than the Baby Bjorn carrier.”  I am hoping to keep in touch with some of the people from the class to hear how they are doing.  We also did a script in class last night that I really liked because it had lots of rain imagery, and it made me think I want a track of rain sounds in addition to my ocean waves sounds.

Yesterday I had a hypothetical conversation with my boss about what might happen if I moved to Rochester with Kelly after having the baby.  Ideally, I would like to take the full 12 weeks of paid leave, then return to work for a short period of time before resigning.  She is amenable to that plan, as long as two things are true: we do not commit fraud and she can hire someone to replace me by the time I resign.  She is going to call human resources and find out their policy regarding resignations soon after returning from a leave.  Like, if you know that you will be resigning soon after a leave, will HR grant the leave?  It may be that it’s all on the up and up because I am entitled to the leave under the FMLA and they can’t force me to resign at a certain time.  If that’s the case, it will give the office the 3 months they need to hire my replacement – they can look during the leave.  But on the other hand, it does seem like it’s not to the university’s advantage, so we’ll see what they say.  Also, this plan hinges on Ellen (and Corey?) being willing/able to come stay with me and the baby in Somerville/Medford for a week or two when I return to work.  I am planning on breastfeeding, and I don’t think that I could be away from the baby for 2 weeks.  We’ll see what happens…while the 12 weeks of paid leave would be extremely helpful, if it doesn’t work out it doesn’t work out.  I don’t want to burn all the bridges (references) I have made here at Tufts.  The conversation with my boss was pretty intense, but she was supportive.

I bellydanced this week for the first time in a long time, and it was more difficult than it was a month ago.  I have to get back into it regularly.  I have been having some lightheadedness and blood pressure drops this week, so I have been trying to stay relaxed and to take it easy.

Always hungry

So, now that the big decision has been made, there’s only a few more decisions to follow: what is maternity leave going to look like? How should I approach my boss with my plan for taking leave? And the all-important, should I finish my degree or not?

Thank you to everyone who sent good wishes to Kelly and I this weekend. I loved reading your emails and comments. I am very excited about moving to Rochester, and have created a google map here to chart out important sites to know and visit when we move there. We will probably look for places in the South Wedge because it is so close to Strong Memorial Hospital, where Kelly will be doing his residency.

Kelly and I spent a very productive weekend together, doing laundry, going grocery shopping, washing all the remaining Passover seder dishes (our kitchen is ours again!), completely cleaning out the pantry and mopping the floor, and stuffing more holes in our kitchen with steel wool to keep out the mice. We also managed to finally clean out the box where we dump the mail every day and to throw out a pile of old receipts. I even managed to fill another bag with books to sell, bringing me up to 5 large paper bags so far. I’ll probably double that number.

Even more exciting, we had great romance this weekend! We had recently had some pretty crummy attempted sex that left us both feeling frustrated, but this weekend we had hot sex multiple times. It’s nice to know that despite having so many changes in my body, which can leave me feeling uncomfortable swollen in the vulva (greater blood volume + worse circulation due to the weight of the placenta on my veins) and awkward and ungraceful as I roll around my belly weight, as well as having a constricted range of movement, I can still find a way to get it on. The trick, apparently, is having lots of space so that I don’t have to scrunch up (pregnant belly crunches are not sexy) or stretch out my stomach (it’s already a bit maxed). The other trick is not to wear lingerie that is now ridiculously, uncomfortably tight, and to find positions that are comfortable to maintain, like lying on my side. I haven’t really experienced either a reduction or an increase in sexual desire with pregnancy, although I have heard and read about that being common.

I am always hungry lately, and there is plenty of action going on in my tummy. I still can’t feel or see particular body parts (hand? elbow? foot? butt?), but I feel lots and lots of bumping, jumping, and swishing around. I wish I were getting a bit bigger in the belly, but hopefully I am just a late bloomer. My midwife says that my weight gain curve is fine. And little things have me noticing that I am still growing – I just bought a new bra a few weeks ago, and already I can’t wear it because between when I bought it and now, the band around my chest has become too constricting. I knew my cup size was bigger, but I hadn’t thought that my rib size was going to change. I guess it’s because all my organs are now sitting higher than normal.

For the last two nights, I have had horrible nightmares. Saturday night I dreamed about teaching the final day of my Ex College course, but everything went wrong. We couldn’t get to the project presentations – we couldn’t even get past the opening activity. The classroom was full of visitors who were alternately rude and distracting or there to observe me. I ended up threatening to drop my students’ grades by a letter unless we could conduct class and cover the content I had prepared. I felt ineffective, humiliated, and like I was violating my own values. Sunday night I dreamed I was trapped in a Nazi death camp where many of my friends had already been killed. The camp was located in a high-altitude mountain range with lots of snow (and also some magical, glowing, orange glass objects that were valuable and I might be able to trade for my freedom). I managed to temporarily escape, but the weather forced me back. After the war, my lover (not Kelly) had joined the resistance and was not interested in helping me find and extradite our baby from the Nazi-controlled territory, who had been adopted in the meantime by strangers. I felt afraid, alone, and betrayed. On the other hand, I have slept really well, going right to sleep and falling right back asleep after getting up in the middle of the night to pee, and waking feeling refreshed. I think it has helped that I have been stuffing one of my softer stuffed animals under my stomach to stabilize myself on my side.  I got the idea from my dad, who mentioned that there are tummy wedges to make pregnant women more comfortable during massage.

Kelly and I thought a lot about baby names this weekend, and we are singing a song to the baby every day, the baby’s song.  I got this idea from one of the videos we are watching in birth prep class.  If you read the same story or sing the same song to the baby before it is born every day, it will recognize it after it has been born and find it calming.  Our baby’s song is a slightly altered version of Lechi Lach (Go Forth), a song by Debbie Freidman (listen here). Our lyrics go:

Lechi lach in a land that I will show you
Lech l’cha in a place you do not know
Lechi lach on your journey I will bless you
And you shall be a blessing, you shall be a blessing
You shall be a blessing lechi lach

Lechi lach and I will never leave you
Lech l’cha wherever you may go
Lechi lach on your journey I will bless you
And you shall be a blessing, you shall be a blessing
You shall be a blessing lechi lach

The original lyrics are based on genesis 12:1-2, and our altered version is based on that plus Kelly’s remembered version of the second version, which to me more truly represents God’s love for humanity and parents’ love for children than the actual second verse, which is about making Abraham’s name great.

This is the last week of Hypnobirthing, and I have to say that we have been terrible at doing our homework.  We’re going to have to really gear up in the last trimester.

This month’s appointment

I just had my April meeting with my midwife, in which I asked a TON of questions and took up a lot more of her time than I think she had planned to give me.

Here are some answers:

• Kicking more on one side than another is normal.
• Having loose stools is normal.
• Feeling a fluttering inside your vagina like the baby is kicking there means that it is.
• I am gaining enough weight.
• The Cambridge Birth Center has a standard birth plan that the midwife fills out with the mother, but I am welcome to write my own birth plan to talk over with Tiffany.  She said that that might be useful so that she can tell me what will fly and what will not.  In her experience, medical providers do not sign birth plans saying that they have read and understand them (books I have read recommend that you have your doctor/midwife do this, although not have them say that they agree).
• If everything is going well at the birth center, they perform the following standard procedures:
  • vaginal exams with fingers to check dilation
  • intermittent heartbeat monitoring with a doppler monitor
  • if it hasn’t broken by 8 cm dilation, the midwives break the water to see if there is any meconium in it.
• If there is meconium in the amniotic fluid, you get immediately transferred to the hospital.  (In the industrialized world, meconium in the amniotic fluid can be detected in 8-25% of all births after 34 weeks’ gestation. Of those newborns with meconium-stained amniotic fluid, approximately 10% develop Meconium Aspiration Syndrome.)
• If you get transferred to the hospital, you get a routine IV and continuous electronic fetal monitoring.
• In terms of informed consent in hospitals, while medical providers should be able to give their rationale for a certain intervention or procedure, I am not likely to receive either a summary of evidence or a list of risks and benefits that includes specific numbers or percentages.  If I refuse a procedure a medical provider has recommended, I will probably have to sign a refusal of care form.
• Tiffany mentioned that the two cases where she believes I would have the most reason to inquire about the benefits and risks of an intervention are vacuum or forceps extraction and non-emergent C-section.  Other than this, I should trust the judgment of my medical providers.
• Breech vaginal births are not offered anywhere in the Boston area, to her knowledge.  Breech babies are always birthed by C-section.
• I asked Tiffany why she thought there was such a discrepancy in the percentage of cesareans for first-time mothers and for mothers who had had previous vaginal births.  She answered that moms who have had a previous vaginal birth have the confidence to know that they can give birth vaginally, know their pelvis will be big enough, and have looser muscles and tendons than the first time around, so overall everything about birth goes easier and faster.

I guess what I got out of all of that is that it is up to the pregnant lay woman to do her own research and become informed about the various interventions, routines, and procedures that medical centers provide and what the appropriate indications are for them.  I am also getting the sense that I am a homebirthing type of person, which may be the case for baby number two.

Any advice on how to help the first birth go smoothly?